It's Asheville Everywhere

You know you're good when you've got the commentators orgasming and Alicia Molik signalling to raise the bar tab.

 

With Ash's $10,000 Fed Cup Heart Award cheque going to the RSPCA, could she get any better?*

Edit: *Yes. Meet our new world no. 1!

Roland-Garros 2019

Mmm, don’t you just love the smell of clay in the air?

"No."

Well that’s too bad as it means only one thing; Roland-Garros has swept upon us.

There’s a lot to like about this slam. It’s very easy on the eyes with the striking orange against the minimalist, industrial concrete and earthy green. The new beige chairs look elegant. Many commentators agreed, scraping the conversation barrel for which must have been some boring matches. 

I can honestly say that I watched the tennis with one eye while the other was on the fashion in the stands. Take notes, fans! It was nice to see spectators wearing clothes. In Australia, we attend the tennis half-naked cos it’s so damn hot. Not everybody got it right, though…


"I have a killer day." - okay, Dexter?

Still, I think I preferred the fashion off the court compared to on as I wasn't sold on Nike’s patterned tops for the ladies:


Nothing like some clay to complete the look – mud-wrestling fans rejoice!

I mean, yeah, they're cute and preppy but I’m not sure that’s how the competitors wanted to be represented. Nike’s vibrant blues last year made their players look super buff and menacing, showing off their back muscles and not impeding their shoulders the way this year’s line did. Those outfits made the players look more likely to start a career in nursing than bash the shit out of a tennis ball.


I don't know how to tell you this, but there's a family of bees on your shirt.

In other news, Jo Konta began volunteer firefighting, at least according to her outfit:


The fire danger ratings are handy...

For an example of being well dressed however, exhibit A:

Considering the lack of lighting, roofing and Hawkeye, the no-fucks-given culture at RG takes some getting used to. "At least they have Netcam” said no one ever, well… except my mother before we both laughed. Their take no prisoners approach is clear given the tiny dugout the photographers are stuffed into in comparison to Rod Laver Arena’s generous on-court spread. These poor souls are positioned right in the firing line:


"halp pls"

Otherwise, tournament-goers seemed happy:

My dirty mind is having a field day.  

I’ve been loving the minimal sounds from the crowd. At least that was the case when a player wasn’t in a shitty mood and when people actually showed up. There aren’t many “oooh, ahh, as I was saying before blah blah bah” like one hears at other tournaments during a long rally. However, one aspect of tennis etiquette they don’t quite get is the prompt sitting down after change of ends. They just hover towards their chairs nonchalantly while the umpires mumble the usual “…ladies and gentlemen, the players are waiting…” If people did this at Wimbledon, they would be shot. 

As far as actual tennis is concerned, we’ve had some good matches, some real yawns and lots of lowlights (music by moi):
 

"Good match LOL jk" 

Some bad moods for no reason: 

Lol!

I'd hate to see Serena when she's losing... oh, wait #gettheviolinsout 

Behold... more of worst shots from Roland-Garros 2019. How good is Sophie Amiach's commentary, by the way?

I should do a 'worst shots of the year' montage… send in your nuggets!

I couldn’t finish this post without this pic. How cute!

It happen-ed.

Your #RG19 Champion.

First of many. pic.twitter.com/1s8Z7X42wT

— Courtney Nguyen (@FortyDeuceTwits) June 8, 2019

Congratulations, Ash!And to you too, Rafa. I think you’ll need a bigger trophy cabinet?