Flushing Meadows Digest (US Open 2019)

Let all of the toilet/digestion puns ensue.

I’ve been losing track of time given the number of grand slams that have come and gone so quickly. This Rolex clock isn’t helping…

 

“It’s !@#$? o’clock somewhere!”

One thing I’ve noticed with the US Open compared to the other majors is that there is no culture to take interest in whatsoever. I also think that there is neither a culture of interest nor knowledge of McTennis™ either:

That’s one way to misspell Elina Svitolina...

Someone proofreading this vs the conversion of human identities: I don't know which is more likely...

As usual though, player antics kept things interesting. Check out this piss-weak handshake by Camilla Giorgi, it’s even slimier in slow-mo:

Burrrrnn.

The US Open’s YouTube channel has continued to provide me with lots of gold:


I misread this guy's surname for 'Swoon'.

Including plenty for the (sadly) regular installment of… shots that went down the shitter. Plus some weird bits and bobs for your viewing pleasure:

I couldn’t resist putting Alison Riske’s grunts to some Nirvana. I’m not the only one who’s perplexed by them:



"Gosh darnnit, h-why?!"

Despite the bad ones, there were some blazing shots. I had these reactions to many of them:

via GIPHY

Wowee, Bianca Andrescu, you blew Serena off the court! Serena screwed herself over a bit which was entertaining, but you ruled! I made so many signs of the horns while I watched the match.

I hope the umpires said to the crowds, “shut the fuck up during points!” ‘cos I sure did. But it’s all over now, and time to move on to quieter pastures like Asia for the rest of the tour. What a relief…