UTR Pro Tennis Series

Tennis is back! To some degree… with the UTR Pro Tennis Series happening downUNDR. It returns as restrictions in some Australian states gently start to lift. By the looks of this article, some people tried to jump the gun…

"My first serve percentage dropped to 10%!"

With players fetching their own tennis balls, these are the least glamourous matches you’ll ever see. This is tennis with an iron, sanitised fist. Cleanliness is the name of the game right now:

Are those paper towels on the left? What Da Silva Fick are they doing there without security?!

Yep, it’s a diva-free zone. Well, the only diva that could possibly be there is Rona. Have you heard of her? She’s been getting around and is everywhere. She has some super annoying requests the human race are blackmailed into following.

The play hasn’t been received very well by the crowd. Actually, it hasn’t been received at all because there is no crowd:

That’s the very thin silver lining about tennis in these conditions; there are no unruly plebians to babysit or tell to sit down and shut up. Despite the silence, the live chat was awash with insightful comments...

Thank you, chief immunologist Sharae...

 ...until the live chats were arbitrarily shut down. Blame the nanny state! They just couldn't stand the truth of Carmel B’s comment. This is what we were subjected to:

We had support, though, with the fittingly named Taylah Lawless representing us rebels:

Pleaase let her full name be Taylah F. Lawless

Catch the rest of the UTR Pro Tennis Series here.

This was what my internet browser looked like while watching the tennis:

I was buying guitar strings, but it could’ve easily been mistaken for another singles tennis match. That or a matchmaking website...

Speaking of dating, I hope that Roland-Garros’s cheeky date switcheroo proves successful. I’m looking forward to slams coming back, but only at the right time. Player welfare comes first!

I hope it’s safe enough for you all to start enjoying things again, like getting back out on court. If it is, just remember these simple suggestions…